Bad Lucks a B!
by AgentNCIS
Summary: Dinozzo." "Yeah boss?" "Get off of me." NotSlash just a bit of fun with Tony XD
1. Chapter 1

A/N Hope you like it, I know everyone enjoys a bit of Tony whump *grin slyly

Monday started off with a headache. Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo stumbled out of bed and to the door, nearly running into its frame. He put a hand to his head.

"You've got to be kidding me." He grumbled as his head throbbed annoyingly. Sighing he headed into the kitchen shivering as his bear feet touched the cold floor. Grabbing some aspirin he took it dry then went into the bathroom.

He took an abnormally long shower, letting the hot water loosen stiff mussels. Reluctantly he turned it off and stepped out, only to slip suddenly, cursing as he somehow maneged to wrench is knee, landing flat on his back.

"Ow." He mumbled head spinning. _Ok this was ridicules, only old people slipped in the shower._

Wincing he pulled himself up using the sink for support, then grabbed a towel. He proceeded to limp into his bedroom mumbling an array of curses along the way.

"This is just not my day." He grumbled.

_NCIS*NCIS_

Tony refused to call in sick because first of all, he wasn't sick just hurt and second of all it wasn't that bad. The aspirin he'd taken earlier had aliviated his headache and some of the pain in his knee. He managed to keep the limp down to a minimum but Kate being Kate _had_ to notice.

"What happened to you?" she asked watching as he went to his desk.

"Nothing why?" He replied trying to keep an innocent air. She cocked an eyebrow.

"Because your limping."

Before Tony could reply Gibbs appeared.

"Grab your gear, we've got a case."

Tony didn't know whether to groan in annoyance or sigh with relief.

_NCIS*NCIS_

It was a crisp autumn morning and it had rained heavily during the night. A Marine was found dead in a local park, in a particularly muddy area. Female, she lie flat on her back eyes unseeing towards the grey sky.

Tony got carefully out of the car suppressing a yelp when he bumped his injured knee on the steering wheel.

"What is up with you?" Kate asked while getting out of the passenger side. She looked at him over the roof of the car.

"Nothing Im fine." He insisted.

"Todd, McGee check out the vics truck, Dinozzo, with me."

A chorus of yes and on it Boss's followed Gibbs's orders. The truck was parked a few feet away the driver side door open. The black Chevy was covered in mud.

Tony mayed his way carefully around the car, making sure not to bump his knee again.

"Dinozzo, something wrong?"

"No boss, Im fine" Tony replied quickly, trying not to limp.

Gibbs watched him for a moment before turning.

Sighing mentaly with relife, Tony continued on his way, trying to take it slowly, but not make it look so.

Suddenly a vary attractive officer caught his eye and he glanced in her direction. That glance would be the bane of his existence.

With a swip splat, he found himself looking at the gray clouds, flat on his back for the second time that day. Luckily he somehow maneged not to hurt his knee again, his pride on the other hand...

He sat up slowly, wincing as the mud mayed its way down the back of his shirt. A shadow loomed over him and he looked up to see Gibbs.

"Hi boss." He said sheepishly.

Sighing Gibbs offered him a hand up and reluctantly Tony took it. This is when Tony knew the universe was truly and utterly against him.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion, first Gibbs pulled him up, then Tony's knee gave way and they both went down with a splat.

A/N Tee hee that was fun :) Review please!

_P.S. I wrote this quickly so there may be a few mistakes, I'll look over it tomorrow._


	2. Chapter 2

"Dinozzo."

"Yeah boss."

"Get off of me."

Tony quickly obliged, shifting so he sat beside Gibbs instead of on top of him.

Gibbs sat up and looked over at him. If looks could kill...Tony winced.

"Get up Dinozzo."

Tony-knee momentarily forgotten-did so with out comment. He gasped as his leg spasmed painfully and gave way, forcing him down onto all fours.

Gibbs stood beside him. "Thats what I thought." He said softly taking hold of Tony's arm and hauling him gently to his feet.

"McGee!"

"Im fine boss." Tony insisted.

"Yeah boss!?" McGee replied turning to look at them. He'd obviously been watching because there was a slightly amused look on his face.

"Take Dinozzo home, me and Todd will finish up here!"

McGee looked surprised, but began to gather his things without comment.

"Come on Boss, I'm fine really." Tony continued to insist, though he knew it was in vain.

"Go home Tony, get cleaned up and stay off that leg, I'll send Ducky by later." Gibbs ordered sternly, yet softly.

Tony glanced at McGee who had finished gathering his gear, and was headed towards them.

"Anyone but McGeek Boss."

_NCIS*NCIS_

Tony was seriously not happy. He'd ruined his favorite shirt, couldn't work and McGoo was driving him home.

_Bad lucks a bitch._ He thought.

It was an agonizing drive too, McGee didn't seem to know how to act, and the whole ride was like one awkward pause.

When they finally did pull up to his apartment building, Tony thought he was gonna die form relief.

"Well Probie this is my stop." He said with glee.

"Uh actually Tony, Gibbs wanted me to make sure...you got in ok." McGee replied awkwardly. (Which seemed to be the probies last name at the moment.)

Tony's triumphant smile fell. "Don't even think about it Probie." He said dangerously, to the best of his current ability anyway.

_His headache may have returned, he may be cold form the mud and his leg _may_ feel like it was going to fall off...but there was_ no way _McGee was gonna-_

Suddenly said Probies phone went off. He answered it quickly.

"McGee...Boss!-er-hi, what...right Boss." He offered the phone to Tony, and with much reluctance Tony accepted it.

"Yeah." He said with caution.

"Dinozzo, let McGee help you to your apartment."

_How the hell dose he do that? _Tony thought for a moment that Gibbs had Abby put some sort of bug in McGee's car.

"Years of experience Tony now-"

"Yeah yeah, I got ya Boss." There was no arguing with Gibbs, even if it was over the phone.

"Good." With that Gibbs hung up.

Grumbling under his breath, Tony opened his door.

"Lets get this over with Probie."

_NCIS*NCIS_

Tony was actually quite proud of his apartment, in that he managed to keep it clean.

Thats not to say things didn't accumulate, but he'd learned long ago that when certain things get left out, they do tend to start smelling.

"Nice place." McGee said, it was his first time seeing the senior feild agents home. He helped Tony to the couch.

"Why thank you McGoo." Tony replied, adding just enough sarcasm to make McGee squirm.

There was a paue where McGee just stood there looking unsure.

"You can go now Probie, I am old enough to be left alone." Tony insited.

"You sure because I could uh..."McGee trailed off as Tony gave him his best Gibbs glare.

"Fine going." And he left, giving Tony one last look, before closing the door.

"Finlay." Tony sighed leaning his head back, then winced as the mud mayed his hair stick to the sofa. It had yet to dry, and he shivered.

"Gross." He grumbled, then sighed again. A shower sounded really good right now. His eyes traveled over to his injured knee, and he shivered again.

_Ill take the risk_. He thought.

To his surprise it went without a hitch. He'd found some old crutches from that time he'd been shot in the leg, and put them to use.

To his slight _annoyance_ he actually enjoyed his day off. He wasn't supposed to be lounging around, he was supposed to be, whats the best word 'catching bad guys', working with his team?'

He sighed and after ordering pizza, and flopping down on the couch to watch Ghost Rider,-an ice pack on his knee-he found himself drifting off.

He woke with a start hours later, the clock on his DVD player reading 6pm.

_Damn he was hot. _He realized and coughed slightly.

_What! _Seriously no, he could _not _be getting sick...thats just not right!

He groanded, his head was pounding. _Sooo not cool._

Thats when there was a knock at the door.

_"Anthony, its me Ducky." _Came the familiar voice of trusted coroner and friend-not to mention doctor- Donald Mallard.

_Now. _Tony thought with another soft groan , he grabbed his crutches and mayed his way haphazardly towards the door, opening it.

"My dear boy, what have you done to yourself." Ducky said sympathetically looking him over. Tony shrugged.

"Guess its just not my day." He replied then let out a hacking cough, that mayde Ducky's worried frown deepen.

"Come now lets have a look at you." Ducky said, closing the door for Tony and helping him to the couch.

Tony's knee looked no better then he felt, all discolored and swollen. He winced as Ducky examined it.

"Congratulations Anthony you have a sprained knee." Ducky said. Tony sneezed in way of reply, then froze when Ducky put a hand to his head.

"And you have a fever."

"Im fine really."_Great, now he was lying to himself._

"You most certainly are not, that mud must have been quite chilly for you to catch cold." Ducky said rummaging around in his bag.

"Here take this, it'll help the fever and the swelling in your knee." He rose to get Tony a glass of water.

Tony sighed. This just _seriously _was not his day. And as if bad luck herself were confirming it, he broke into a fit of coughing.

"You'll need x-rays for the knee and-oh my here drink some water." Ducky quickly handed the young agent the glass. Tony excepted it willingly, and sighed mentally as it helped ease the coughing.

"And now Im begining to think your chest will need one to."

Tony stiffened slightly at the thought. _Stupid plague_.

"Not now though." Ducky added glancing at his watch, he hated to leave Tony alone but his mother..."Im sorry Anthony but mother needs looking after."

Tony shrugged."Not to worry Duck, I can take care of myself."

"I don't doubt that." Ducky said opening the door.

"My suggestion is, until I come back tomorrow, is to get a lot of rest." He paused looking at Tony worriedly."Take care of yourself Anthony."

"Will do Duck."

_Perhaps I should make a phone call...._Ducky thought as he left.

Tony sighed for what seemed like the hundreth time, leaning his head back.

_Man he felt like crap._

Review please :)


	3. Chapter 3

Tony woke with a start wincing at the stiffness in his neck.

_Damn he'd fallen asleep on the couch._He rubbed his neck wincing again, then realized someone was knocking on the door.

_Geese what time was it?_He glanced at the clock. 8am it read. He'd pretty much slept off and on through the night, waking up a couple of times into a fit of coughing.

Sighing he rose, not even bothering with the crutches, since by now his whole body ached. Still the leg bothered him enough to limp.

Another knock more urgent this time.

"Hold your horses I-Boss!" Tony stared at Gibbs in surprise.

"You look like crap Dinozzo." Gibbs proclaimed upon looking him over.

It was true-although Tony had yet to look in a mirror- he could imagine his tousled hair, rumpled shirt and sweats, slightly pale features.

"Thanks Boss, I'm working on a new look." Tony smirked then coughed harshly.

Gibbs's eyes narrowed. "It fits." He muttered then noticed the crutches leaning against the couch.

"Dinozzo why aren't you using those?" He demanded gesturing towards them.

Tony glanced back at them, then back at Gibbs, smiling sheepishly.

"Uh, just lazy I guess."

Gibbs had to restrain form slapping him upside the head, settling instead with one of his intense glares.

"You gonna let me in Dinozzo?"

Tony looked a bit surprised, but limped out of his way.

Without comment Gibbs closed the door for him, took hold of his arm and lead him back to the couch.

"Sit." He ordered. Tony practically fell onto the sofa, wincing slightly.

"You eaten Dinozzo?" Tony hesitated he'd just woken up.

"Uh no Boss."

Gibbs frowned and headed into the kitchen.

Tony resisted the urge to get up, and see what he was doing.

"You got anything besides leftovers in here Tony?" Gibbs said appearing form the kitchen, eyeing an old Chinese food box.

"Guess not." Tony said with a sheepish shrug.

Gibbs gave him a look before returning to the kitchen.

When he didn't reaper for about twenty minutes, Tony seriously began to worry...Suddenly, there was_ another_ knock at his door.

He frowned and started to get up.

"Ill get it Dinozzo." Gibbs said making him stiffen.

"Right boss."

"Ah Jethro." It was Ducky and he didn't seemed surprised that Gibbs was there. Tony frowned wondering just what the coroner had told Gibbs.

A tickle rose suddenly in the back of his throat. He swallowed trying to suppress it. _Damn it was like Lady _Bad Luck_really really hated him._

"So how is Anthony-" Ducky started but stopped as he broke into a harsh bout of coughing. It lasted for so long he didn't even notice Gibbs's approache till he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"My my my, Tony perhaps I should have a listen to those lungs." Ducky said worriedly.

Tony tried not to grimace.

"You alright Dinozzo?"

"Yeah Boss I-" His usual response was cut off, when Ducky put a thermometer in his mouth.

"Lets have a listen, shall we." Ducky said producing a stethoscope glancing cheekily at Gibbs who smirked slightly.

"Breath deeply." That brought on a small but forceful spout of coughing that sent the thermometer flying.

Tony caught it before it hit the floor.

"Hmmm, unfortunately with your history Anthony I think I will suggest a chest x-ray, as I said last night."

_Great._ Tony thought. Stupid_plague._

Ducky took back the thermometer, noticing the look Gibbs was giving him.

"Just a precaution Jethro, we don't want to take any chances." Ducky muttered to him.

"99.6, still have a bit of a fever."

"We uh, goin to the hospital?"

Ducky exchanged a look with Gibbs. "Perhaps we can just go back to NCIS, I'll do it there."

Tony looked relieved at that and Gibbs chuckled softly.

"Come on Dinozzo you'll ride with me."

Tony looked almost horrified.

_NCIS*NCIS_

For once Gibbs did not drive like a mad man.

Ducky trailed behind them in his own car.

The cool air had felt good to Tony as Gibbs had helped him out to the car, and now he sat in the passengers seat head leaned back, eyes half closed.

His head was throbbing slightly and he was glad for Gibbs's slow driving.

"You alright Dinozzo?" _Everyone seemed to be asking him that lately._

He answered with his usual, _Im okay, really_ voice.

"Yeah Boss."

Gibbs said nothing as he pulled to a stop at a red light.

Tony stiffened when he felt a hand on his head.

Gibbs pulled away silent for a moment.

The light turned green.

"You still got a fever Tony you-" Suddenly a small black car crashed into their front right side, crushing the head light.

Gibbs gripped the steering wheel as tires screeched, and metal met metal. It lasted only for a moment, then everything stopped and was silent.

Dose this mean Im evil...Review please, they are my lifeforce :)


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